Thursday, May 7, 2009

Browsing

Short-staffed today so I am shelving books awhile. I make a really poor page, as I get easily distracted by titles in the stacks. Like this one by Amy Sedaris entitled I Like You. Here's a quote from page 47 on how to entertain a blind date in your own home:

"I once agreed to have a first date over for dinner and found out I had to work that day. I pressed my pantsuit, got my apartment spic-and-span, and decided on a meal that I felt confident I could prepare in an hour: porterhouse steak, mashed potatoes, salad, and watermelon wedges for dessert. I also planned on serving sangria, bcause I had a pile of fuit that was beginning to turn. I put out some unshelled walnuts in a bowl to complement the sangria. When I got home from work I immediately boiled water for the potatoes, turned on the broiler and threw my steak in. I only had an hour, but because I had preplanned well, I knew I would make it just under the deadline. Unfortunately, my date showed up fifteen minutes early...with a friend that wasn't invited. They had stopped for a slice of pizza on the way so they didn't want to eat "until all that cheese settled." My date then turned on the tv so he could catch the last few minutes of the Hornets game. He and his buddy drank multiple glasses of sangria, ate fistfuls of caramels, and emptied my nut bowl as those few minutes dragged on for more than an hour and a half. By the time dinner was on the table the sangria was gone, the potatoes were cold, the salad was limp, and my steak was not only exhausted, it was humiliated. When we got around to dessert, he insisted on carving the watermelon, but dropped it on the floor. Too drunk to hail a cab, he sent his friend home, fell asleep on my bed and woke up in his own vomit. We dated for two years."

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